Perfect Moirail
by SilverWolf7
Summary: Figures that when you really need your moirail, he is never around. Unless, of course, he is.


My first Homestuck story. This one is Karkat and Gamzee. Because I love them dearly. I'm currently writing a GamzeeRoseTerezi story if anyone is interested in reading it when it is finished.

I really love the thought of Moirallegiance. I will probably write an Equius and Nepeta story later. But I want to try my hand at all four Quadrants.

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Perfect Moirail

You are Karkat Vantas and you are currently searching for your moirail, who you doubt you will find, considering Gamzee Makara is your moirail and none of your other relationships had ever really gotten anywhere. You utterly blew a matespritship with Terezi and your black quadrant seems to be filled by yourself, which is kind of insane.

Well, you had tried to at least get John to know of your black crush on him ages ago, but a proper kismesis just doesn't seem to be something you will ever have. You've learnt to speak up about matespritship stuff though, so hey, lesson learnt.

You had only made Gamzee your moirail to calm him down after he had gone psychotic and began killing people to use their bloods as paints. Fucking scary as hell that had been. It had worked. You knew there was something going on between you two that wasn't red for a long time before that though, and you had always told Sollux when he brought up moirallegiance that he was wrong. But here it is. Gamzee is your moirail.

He fucking sucks at it.

You don't know if it just hasn't penetrated his thick skull and sunk into his think pan that moirails work both ways, or if he just isn't as into the quadrant as you need him to be. Because you are slowly going crazy on this fucked up space rock and your moirail is currently nowhere to be found.

Gamzee is either lurking in the ventilation ducts somewhere or holed up in a secret room that you haven't yet discovered. You have been searching for him for the past 20 minutes and you are so on edge right now that you are beginning to hyperventilate.

"Gamzee, fuck, I could really use my moirail right now..."

Nothing bad has happened and the relief of that has worn off into boredom.

Why that has decided to get you to the point where you feel the need to wander the corridors like a stupid ignorant shit and call out for someone that may or may not be anywhere near where you are is currently beyond your understanding.

But that is what is happening in your fucked up head.

Nothing is happening and it is freaking you out.

Before you can catch your breath enough to call out for him again, you hear a sound you have been both simultaneously fearing and wanting to hear since you filled your pale quadrant. A honk. You haven't seen Gamzee in days and no one knows what kind of mood he'd be in at any given time, though he has been pretty much stable since you shoosh papped him out of being nuts.

It was close too and, hoping to find him in a stable and good mood, you run to where you heard the sound and there lying in the corridor like he had been waiting for you to just show up is Gamzee. Right outside the door to your fucking respite block. The asshole clown is going to pay for that one.

He was going to pay as soon as you get in your block and hyperventilate a little more. Maybe even go into a full blown panic attack, because those are always so much fucking fun. Not.

"You alright, Bro?" Gamzee asks, as you unlock the door and pull him in behind you. He gives out a loud honk of surprise.

You sit his ass on the floor, pace the space in front of your newly alchemized recuperacoon, before walking back over to him and hitting him hard on the arm. "Fuck you, Gamzee. Just...fuck you. You're the worst moirail anyone could ever fucking have you know that? I actually manage to be good in a quadrant for once and get the fuck up instead. Wonderful!"

He stares up at you with his eyes wider than you have ever seen them and you know that later on, you will be apologising for that one. You hate when you hurt people you are close with, especially with your words. You've been trying to cut down on the colourful language of late, if for no other reason than to at least not scare away the rest of the humans you'll be visiting in a sweep and a half. Not to mention the rest of the people on the meteor. As if you haven't fucked up enough of your relationships as it is...

"Well, shit man, if you all want to stop being my palebro, all you have to do is motherfucking say so."

You close your eyes and growl. You count to ten in your head and hope you calm down soon, before _you _go fucking nuts and started killing people indiscriminately. "Did I say that, you fucking bulge scraper? No! I said you sucked at being a moirail. And you do! Whenever you need me, I am always there. Always. I am fucking keeping your hiding spots secret from the others. I am keeping you out of Kanaya's way since she is hell-bent on killing you. And what do I get in return for this? Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing!

"All you do is fucking hide in the vents and eat. And god knows where the fuck you are at any given time. I am going out of my fucking mind here! Do you even care about that? Fuck! Now I really am hyperventilating!"

You can't catch your breath and you feel light headed and sweaty and generally unwell. You're also dangerously close to crying. "Shit, I need to calm down. I need my fucking moirail Gamzee. You might not know this in your rusted think pan, but you are it! Help me!"

The last paragraph was muttered into Gamzee's chest, as he had already by that time scooped you into a hug. He always hugged you. And his hugs always managed to calm you down before. This one had the added bonus of him papping you gently on the back and shooshing above your head.

You metaphorically melt in his arms. You'd think of literally doing so, but that would be not only very weird, but also extremely messy. For the first time since two of the humans arrived on board, you feel your body relaxing and it is such a huge relief to not have to be on your guard for something dangerous to sneak up on you, or to worry endlessly about whether Rose's prediction was wrong and Jack would catch up with them before they reached the post scratch human session they were heading to.

You lean into him and let him pap you into a state between being awake and asleep.

"You all up and getting your wicked z's on, bro?" he asks you in as much of a whisper as he can manage, and you stir yourself to as much a state of wakefulness as you're going to get. You haven't been sleeping since that day. Sometimes you really fucking hate being an insomniac.

"Mmph. No. I am so tired... Will you stay here today? There's one of those slabs the humans call a bed in here as well as the recuperacoon. I only alchemized the 'coon earlier today. The bed's big enough for two. I just...I need this right now."

"Sure, bro. I can all get my relax on with you. All up in a motherfucking human bed. You mind telling me why you got a giant pail full of boonbucks though? That's...kind of wrong and weirding me out, man."

"It's a fucking cauldron, not a pail. And I don't know...it was just there, so I used it to stuff my useless fucking money in. So what. You have time to put that stupid face paint on while hiding in vents. That is wrong and weird."

"Honk!"

And that was basically the reply you were waiting for. You get up off his lap, the light headedness at least passing for now. You make your way to the bed you have been using to lie on for some kind of non sleeping rest. You sometimes use it as something to recline and read on. It is amazingly soft and comfortable. You sometimes just lie on it and think.

You sometimes bury your head under the head rests and cry. You have done so much crying lately. It's like now that everyone knows your blood colour there is no more need to hide it and your body is making up for sweeps of not crying despite how fucking sensitive you are emotionally.

You're not crying now. Actually, after chucking your little fit at Gamzee, you're pretty much as mellow and calm as you've ever been. Getting comfortable on one side of the bed, you pat the other for Gamzee and he takes the hint, slowly walking over to you and lying down. He turns his head to look at you and you can see a huge grin on his face. You haven't seen him really smile like this since he went off the deep end.

"This thing is so soft and fluffy, bro. It's a motherfucking miracle. I need to go and make one of these for a room I sleep in."

You inch your way to him and curl your body around his. "It can wait until later. All I want is to sleep and wake up feeling like I have actually had some sleep. Just...don't leave me alone right now, alright?"

"You motherfucking got it, best friend. You all up and go to sleep now. I will make sure you get those most mirthful of z's on. Got your back, like you got mine."

You snuggle close and let your head rest on his chest and let the calming beat of Gamzee's vascular pump calm you even further. "I'm sorry. For saying you're never here. I hate that you're so hard to find though. Why can't you just...find a spot no one goes and stay there?"

"Same reason you don't all go and spend your time wasting away here in your respite block. Because it's all like as boring as fuck. Exploring the vents is something fun. And I know Kanaya won't be finding me there."

You giggle at the image that puts in your head. Kanaya wrecking her clothing while wriggling her way through the vents. No, she would definitely not be doing that anytime soon. "Go to sleep, you fucking asshole."

"Yeah, you all up and get your rest on, best friend."

You hmm into his chest and close your eyes. You're asleep before a minute has passed and when you wake up again you are actually surprised to see that Gamzee is still there, even though according to the time piece by the bed, it is a full eight hours later. He was still fast asleep.

Alright, so, Gamzee might be the biggest fuckup of a moirail ever, but he was your fuckup.

And in its own weird way it works for the both of you.

He may not be great at the role in anyone's books, but to you right now, he's just perfect.


End file.
